ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
