My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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