so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
