that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He passed out mid-signature
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
