I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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