ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
