He asked to "fluff my boner.."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
