Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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