if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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