so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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