i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
