I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
