i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
