so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
