every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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