I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
