Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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