Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
