Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
