she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
