I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
