We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
