i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
