You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
