craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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