I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
