oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
