she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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