is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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