wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
