Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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