He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
