i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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