I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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