i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
