We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
