we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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