I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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