Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
