i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
