ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
