Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
