I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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