That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
