I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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