Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i out mim tonsoeep
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
