okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
