Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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