Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I would fuck him just for his dog
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
