Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
